Online Dating

When Dating…Don’t Nag!

Mosquitoes are nags, the way they covertly swoop in for the bite, your nerves failing to inform you until they’ve already bitten and drawn your blood. Hornets and flies are nags too. Drivers can be nags, especially those that persist in tailgating. Childproof safety caps and candy wrappers can be nags, when no matter how hard you try you just cannot bring them to open. Ever-breaking umbrellas are nags, especially when they fall apart in the midst of a downpour along with your faith in the temporary shelters. A nag drums the blood to a boil, causing outbursts of anger, sarcasm or frustration, in what would otherwise be a peaceful moment; nags force an inordinate reaction, prods you to do something you don’t want to do, or say something you don’t like to say, and in the concourse of life, there are a myriad of nags, but none can be more unnerving than people, and none can be worse than your significant other.

“You can’t wear black shoes with brown pants and a brown belt. No, you can’t wear a black belt with brown shoes either.”

“Huh? But what if it looks good? Besides, my shoes are dark brown, barely black.

“No, it’s wrong. Believe me, I know style. Now what are you going to do since we leave in fifteen minutes, and did you get my shirt out of the dryer? And you need to call my mother and thank her for the fruit cake.”

“Will I get arrested if I wear this? Will they throw me in the slammer and tell me to get nude? What if there are other women in there with me? I hope my boxers match my socks! And umm…your mother knows I don’t like fruitcake. The polite piece I ate in front of her was like a laxative! I’ve never seen a cake with so many prunes! Were they on sale or something?”

She didn’t appreciate my comments. She saw them as insulting and mocking. I was not respecting her position. She knew style so well that the very next week, a fashion article was featured in an online news forum that discussed how those brown with black rules just did not apply anymore. They were old! Ancient! Last century! This coincidence proved that the universe was my ally – it sided with me. Who was hip now? Who knew style now? But most important…..WHO CARES! Needless to say, this relationship did not last too long; one cold fall, one colder winter and one disintegrating spring when my waning patience and thinning nerves singed all relations. It was all wrong. We shouldn’t have been having loveless, nagging spats that left rancid tastes of something incredibly stale in my mouth.

If you want your relationship to last, don’t nag! And this goes for guys too! I have a friend who used to nag his girlfriend all the time; always pick on her or question her about something. The woman was not allowed to be herself. She is no longer his girlfriend, much to his detriment. When dating….RELAX! CHILL! Run on a treadmill or go landscape your yard if you feel the urge to nag. Nagging is often an indication of selfishness or the desire to change someone. Give it up. Trying to change someone often ends in disaster. It is not attractive and it will end a relationship faster than the time it takes to say goodbye. Personally, I’d rather spend a day sorting bird seed or walking with a mule than be with a nagging mate. Wouldn’t you? Think of it….which one is more peaceful? If you are the nagging type, be sure to inform everyone in your personal profile. I promise it will keep everyone away. I can’t think of anyone who fancies mosquitoes, hornets, flies, tailgaters or dysfunctional umbrellas.