See Something You Might Like?

Go get it!

As soon as I saw her, my eyes stuck. She reminded me of Norma Shearer, a film star from the 1920’s. I made this connection because I am fond of the 1920’s era and of Norma Shearer. She had thick brown hair that was held back by a bandana. Her eyes were smooth and sure, and her smile was warm – and her teeth! I am not one to measure teeth, but HER teeth! They were perfect! She could have done a Crest commercial. I sat down at the bar, in front of the condiments, the varied smells of cherries, limes, lemons and olives rising up to meet me.

“Hi!” I said. “Glenmorangie scotch, neat please.” That’s how I started. She was the bartender. All that kept going through my mind was I wonder how many guys ask her out every night. But I wasn’t any guy. I don’t mean that in an egotistical way, it’s just the way it is. And it’s how all of YOU need to think too.

After she gave me that first drink, we did not talk much, but we DID exchange more than a few smiles. Hint! Hint! I felt something that was very compatible every time she smiled, almost karmic, as if the air and the universe moved with us, but more important I felt “the nudge”. You know….the one in your gut that matters most. It was urging me, Go! Go! Go! I kept telling myself to trust my instincts – that inner nudge. So I did. She was busy behind the bar – very busy, but since I was sitting right in front of her, it was a good opening to a conversation while she mixed drinks.

You’re holding up pretty well back there, I said.
Thank you, she said. It’s been nonstop….ever since you came in! Are you from around here? She asked the question with another smile that roused everything sensuous. It was the first sign of bona fide interest. Any time you hear this question, know it’s a great beginning. She wanted to know whether I was temporary or permanent; whether she should spend any more of her smiles on me. There was live music playing, but I couldn’t be sure if the thump I felt was from the music or my own heart. The night continued. She didn’t know a recipe for a certain drink, so I told her what it was. She asked if I was a bartender, no, I said, I’m a writer, but drinks and books are both creative creations. She liked that. Just before I left, I asked her if she would like to meet for coffee or a drink or….or watch paint peel while the sun sets with a bottle of wine. I didn’t really ask her about watching paint peeling but she said yes to a drink or coffee! She wrote her number on a napkin. I wondered how many numbers have been written on bar napkins throughout the history of time; it is an eternally youthful gesture, the napkin from the bar….with a stain of cherry juice splashed in the corner. I won’t tell you about the date; I’ll save that for later, because there are some dating tips to be shared from this encounter:

1. When you see someone who you might be attracted to, pursue it further to find out if you are. There is nothing worse than feeling the sting of regret later and wishing you had acted.

2. Take it easy. Assess the environment you are in. Think before you speak. Don’t panic.

3. When you do say something; when those first words do escape your mouth, look into their eyes as you speak. It is a sign of confidence and sincerity (just be certain you are indeed sincere!)

4. When you feel the nudge in the gut of your soul, keep going. Go! Go! Go!

5. Although not evident in this encounter, if the roles were reversed, women ought to pursue in just the same manner. In the 21st century it is okay for a woman to ask a man out on a date.

6. Don’t overdo it! Don’t be oppressive! Don’t be pushy! Again, relax. If it is meant to happen…..it will. In the very least, you tried, and with every pursuit of someone you might like, you learn a bit more about yourself and about humanity.

Remember…..every day is yours, every moment might be an opportunity. Live them boldly. When you see someone who is appealing to you, online or off, trust your instincts, there are only so many tomorrows. That nudge is your subconscious mind telling you to Go! Go! Go!