Online Dating: Advice for the first date!

Boys, Girls….Just the Basics

Pull up a chair, you all need another crash course. YES, YOU DO! Now stop whining and sit down. I’m your teacher. I’ll teach you everything you don’t know – yes, even that, but we’ll save that for another time. Huff and puff all you want but the fact is….that most of you don’t know what the heck to do on a first date! You don’t know how to act! No, Johnny, it’s not figure out the fastest way to have sex. No, Julia, it’s not find out how much money the guy has either. David, stop making eyes at Lisa and look up here! Here we go…

• Guys….open the damn car door for her! Always! AND then open the door to the restaurant or movie theatre or café’ or wherever the hell you’re going! Opening the door is the first sign that you treat women well; that you respect them and know how to treat them.

• Girls….don’t order the most expensive plate on the menu if he takes you to a restaurant on the first date. I repeat…don’t do it! It’s an indication that either: a.) you don’t give a damn and are thus careless b.) You are a gold digger c.) You don’t have a brain or don’t care to have one. Think, before you order.

• Guys…..always pay for the first date. In this modern era, she may offer…upon which you should still politely decline. She may insist…you should continue to decline. She may become adamant that you accept her contribution because she secretly does not want you to think you have to take care of her or because she is a strong, independent woman. Only if she is the latter – adamant to the point of offense – should you accept her money, and respect her feelings and wishes. Otherwise, guys….YOU pay. Don’t be cheap! And be sure to leave a good tip for the wait staff too! This is also part of being a gentleman.

• Guys and Girls….know how to carry an intelligent conversation. Engage each other in healthy discussion. Show interest in the other’s life; what they do, their profession, hobbies, likes, dislikes….make light of the small details, it matters a lot! Paint yourselves as having care and concern for someone else, because once in a relationship, it is often – not always – what makes it last. If you need tips on how to converse, read….start reading novels and plays where there is an abundance of dialogue, and listen to people around you. Listen for transition words and worldly topics.

• Girls…..if the guy takes you out, say thank you. Thank him for opening doors, buying you dinner, taking you to a circus or even buying you coffee. Otherwise, you may risk portraying yourself as spoiled, self-serving and unappreciative.

• Guys and Girls…..avoid talking about past loves and past relationships. The freshness of the night will fast turn stale and dead. Borrrrrrring. Who cares! Get over it! Talking about it may be a clear sign that you are not ready to move on; that you are still not over it. Women are famous for sensing this in men. If a woman thinks you’re still hooked on a past failed marriage or relationship, she’ll forget about you fast. She won’t want to waste her time with recent baggage. Why should she? It’s a new day. Don’t talk about days already past. Revel in the buoyancy of the present. It’s new!

• Lastly….avoid political and religious discussions, unless they are the reasons for your meeting………inject humor into your discussions whenever possible, it wins hearts………..don’t talk out of the side of your mouth and use slang words that make you sound like you were raised in a sewer….dress neatly, have pride in yourselves and……..don’t forget to wear deodorant!

Okay…..class dismissed.