Pucker Up! It's Valentine's Day!

If You Have One…and If You Don’t

Ah, Valentine’s Day! Red roses, red velvet, red kisses, red raspberry syrup dribbled over your red cherry sundae, and red bursts of passion with dabs of chocolate….are you seeing red yet? Red has a sound too. When you look at the color you can image and hear the exclamation of love or loudness or it’s bright, exuberant hues reigning over a day or a room. You can taste its flavors in red strawberries, pomegranates and….does not a female lover have a taste all her own when you kiss her red-lipsticked lips or red-rouged cheeks? The day is upon us that celebrates love and affection and courtship; that honors that nebulous river of relations that has the power to activate much more than just your taste buds and sense of smell. The calendar pages have turned over, yet another year. How different is your love life today than it was a year ago? And….does it really matter? So much pressure is heaped upon Valentine’s Day, especially in America where it is a virtual holiday and a day when most women have come to expect something, where just a card and a dinner date might bring disappointment – of course such disappointment is not only ridiculous, but to me, personally repulsive.

After all, Valentine’s Day, its origins indicate, was never about material gifts, but love, bonding and the celebration of courtship. Valentine’s Day purportedly began in ancient Rome, at a Pagan festival. History also reports that there have been more than two prominent men who were either dubbed or went by the name of Valentine, including the famous Father Valentine, a priest who was jailed for violating orders not to marry anyone because of the vulnerability and perceived weakness that love often injects in men. While in jail, awaiting his death, the priest fell in love with the jailer’s daughter, and on the day of his final demise, passed a note to her that was signed, “…from your Valentine.” The rest is history. Notes, cards and flowers soon became the staple of the red-colored day. And let’s not forget the arrow-toting Cupid, the winged cherub who flutters about, playing matchmaker from the unseen space around us. In ancient times he was the Roman God of Love!

If you have a lover or Valentine in your life, you certainly ought to recognize them on Valentine’s Day. It is an easy excuse to give them an extra kiss or a longer hug, to leave a trail of rose petals that ends at your pillow; to tell them how much you appreciate them in your life. It should not, however, ever revolve around material gifts. Love is the central theme of the day. Love and nothing more. It’s the one day of the year that is the perfect excuse to make more love, perhaps while listening to Jeff Buckley’s version of Lilac Wine! Wrap yourselves in each other’s affection and bask in the attention that is showered upon you. Appreciate the gifts of being and sharing and witnessing life together! If you’re reading this and you have been negligent in your attention and relationship, use the day as an excuse to turn things around – there are only so many tomorrows. If you’re in a fight or were just in an argument, it is a great day to get over it and much more; to surpass the pause or bump with a kiss so sweet it should make you both gush with warm tingles and giddy affection, making you realize how stressful and foolish conflict really is. A single red rose is an apt and measureable gesture. If you want to splurge for more that is up to you, but ladies….you should never expect it. It’s just not about that. Our world society needs more love, not more diamonds. (Okay, those who are in a relationship or who have a lover in their lives, can stop reading here, because the next paragraph doesn’t apply to you. Happy Valentine’s Day!) If you don’t have a lover or a special Valentine in your life, so what! I have always perceived the day, well…..as just another day! Yes, when I’m in a relationship I will shower more attention or more kisses or more hugs upon my lover, but there have also been several times when I’ve been alone. It is easy to get drowned in melancholy, to sulk over the fact that while it seems everyone else is with someone, you’re all alone. Hmm…ladies and gentlemen, you have no idea how many there are out there, who are also alone. And remember this: Being in a relationship brings a whole new set of pressures, expectations and responsibilities – trust me! Furthermore, there are many people who are in relationships who still feel like they’re alone, and they envy you! Enjoy your independence and do not let the magnitude of the day overwhelm you. So what can you do? Well, what’s more important than loving someone else? Hmm? How about loving and appreciating yourself? After all, if you don’t love yourself how can you love someone else? You’ve got to be happy with who you are and accept you – what you do and how you live. You’re wonderful! You’re alive! You’re a beautiful part of the human species. Love yourself. And from me to you…..I sincerely wish you a very, very Happy Valentine’s Day.