Guys! Don’t be Rude!

A Crash Course on Manners

Last week I was scanning the Flirtbox Forums, curious to see what all of you wonderful people talk about and post. Much to my disappointment – and chagrin – I saw that some guys haven’t any online manners, and if they haven’t any manners online, what are the chances they have any offline? One man actually sent a very bold but simple message to an unsuspecting woman: “38D?” That was it. That was all he wrote. No hello’s or how are you’s. No polite introductions. No friendly greeting. What does this man expect in a reply? Is this his way of charm? Of gallantry? Chivalry? Perhaps he lacks imagination. Or maybe he was playing online Bingo and he accidentally typed on the wrong screen. I know…..probably not. He was just rude. Not the best of pick-up lines to be sure. Perhaps this man deserved an equally simple reply: “Lack of endowment?” Or better yet: “50DD and I asphyxiate my victims.”

Other men will send along similar mannerless and classless messages that only demonstrate their own ineptitude. Messages such as: “Hey, I want you!” Or, “I drive a big, red car. Wanna date?” Or, “Hey baby, you’re pretty. Wanna play?” This type of one-line trash will not solicit any quality attention. Class and dignity still matter, along with some tactful style in your words. Read an old book on letter-writing where many fine tips and examples can be found. After all, emails and online replies are just other forms of the written letter. Write with grace. Write with courtesy. And if you don’t know what “grace” and “courtesy” mean, look them up! I dare you to get smarter! You want a sample reply? Okay.

Hi! How are you? Great profile. We have many of the same interests. I also like french wine, avoid french fries – unless they are fed to me – and would love to meet a woman who just managed to tie in french toast, french kissin' and french fries.......all in the same sentence as you did in your profile. I also enjoy a good breakfast diner and a relaxing cafe - great writing spots by the way.

I'm a writer, love books, value family and I head into London quite a bit. I'm in graduate school at present, which I finish in December. I also love walking in parks and sipping wine on windy days. I'd love to hear from you.....and I hope I do.

It’s not that hard, guys, and it does not need to be too fancy. Just show some decency! Remember that you are sending a message to a woman who is capable of feeling, just like you. Who is interested in meeting someone, perhaps just like you. Don’t waste her time with roguish and immature, verbal slush. Be friendly. Have poise. Do not alienate or scare or frighten or alarm any woman you desire to contact. Also….THINK! Think and re-read what you’ve written before you press that SEND or SUBMIT button! And stop giving guys such a bad rap….many of us really do have class and manners; and we all don’t fantasize about 38D’s.