Online Dating

Growing Pains in Dating

When you first learned how to ride a bike, did you fall? When you were learning how to pick up spaghetti with a fork – in front of others – did the wiry noodles drop and splatter, making you realize you ought to adjust your method? And did you learn from it? When learning to walk, an infant will not know how to navigate the terrain, but nonetheless, the attempts persist, amidst much tripping, tearful wails, bumps and minor bruises. When starting a new job and moving into a new neighborhood, the first week always seems uncertain and hesitancy mars your every thought. When dating someone or meeting someone new, the growing pains are no less dominant, and before you go out on your next date, you ought to acknowledge and admit this. Dating is just another chapter of change in a life; a transition; an exploration of self and others. There will be uncomfortable moments, especially if you are set in your ways or live life by habit; but take the discomfort in stride, and have empathy, because you are not the only one who may be uncomfortable.

It is okay to admit that you have to learn more about yourself or life in general. In fact, it is a healthy and beneficial admission that will only broaden all of your coming experiences and in turn, make you more complete! One must not be bullheaded, stubborn or ignorant when meeting new people and going on new dates. This is especially true for those who have just ended a committed relationship or are re-entering the dating fray after a lengthy hiatus. You must dismiss all prior preconceptions because they were based on old or past experiences. The hours in which you now reside are new hours, containing new people and new moments. New wonderments and fascinations await you. It is vastly unfair to carry stale baggage into a new experience, not only to yourself, but to your dating partner. Keep and maintain an open and receptive mind. After all, life is indeed a personal journey, one that is enriched with every new turn, new wrinkle….and new set of eyes that find your own.

In short, do not be too proud. Every person you meet has had different experiences than you. Embrace this fact! Love it! Learn from it! These are the wonderful intricacies of humanity and human bonding. Sure, some revelations may seem odd. Some passions and practices that others keep may not seem in alignment with yours, but so what! You could be compatible in other areas. Or, in the very least, the differences shared will result in stimulating conversation, if you know how to carry one! At all costs, resist judgment.

Perhaps it is you who needs to be stretched and daring, metaphorically and literally. Your life and your perceptions may very well need to be elongated and elasticized, enough to fit over the expanse of the new lives and new relationships that you will encounter.

There are always growing pains in dating someone new. Expect them. But also expect something wonderful, and the pains just might seem like joys. Embrace those differences you have with others. A soul mate is not always that person who is EXACTLY like you! What fun would that be?