Brains (37) from Derbyshire, England
Do you want to meet me?
About me
I am an untrustworthy cad of the highest order, and my hobbies include boiling bunnies, never 'phoning my mother, and sneaking out at night to plant weeds in neighbours' gardens. However, with meddling kids forever thwarting my evil plans, it's not easy plotting to take over the world. Perhaps the love of a good woman will help me mend my ways and turn over a new leaf - but let's hope it doesn't come to that, shall we? I therefore seek a female accomplice to aid me in my rotten endeavours and to blame whenever my plans go awry, which they invariably do. You need not be a leggy supermodel, or have big things in front of you. However, a firm bottom and a lack of facial hair would be advantageous. In return I promise not to beat you (much), and offer all the cream crackers you can eat. If that sounds interesting, drop me a line and I'll get back to you when I return from the canal with this sack full of kittens. What's that you say? Oh, boo to you too with brass knobs on...
GENERAL
- UsernameBrains
- SexualityMale seeking Female
- Age2008
- StarsignTaurus
- AreaUnited Kingdom, England, Derbyshire
- Last Login10/05/2008
- Member since07/07/2005
MY APPEARANCE
- Height5´ 10" (178 cm)
- Bodyshapeabout average
- Haircolourlight brown
- Hairstyleshort
- Eyecolourblue
- General appearanceEuropean/White
MY INTERESTS
- I like...Taking candy from babies
- I dislike...Superheroes
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looking for...
- no idea!
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Sports
- Table soccer
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Music
- anything
Brains's activity
- Groups
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Last posts
- Fossils
- YOUR FETISH ??
- Wish for a chik with long legs
- casual sex!!
- Sexy Accents
- Are you an inny or outy?
- Why are women so hard to approach..
- Shud ur profile display 2 others no. of msgs sent or recvd?
- any females with nice buts and great personality...
- Is this the worst personal ad ever?
- Can women really go for geeks?
- Girls that like geeks
- "insert title here" lol
- News flash Cristiano Ronaldo has appologised
- just a random complaint
- Is alchohol becoming a way of life?
- What are people looking for in life???
- Spoilt For Choice
- Is height really that important
- What's "good looking" to you?
Last posts:
About me
- Where I liveOn the border between Nottinghamshire and Derbyshire, roughly 10 miles from each city. The Derbyshire countryside isn't terribly far away either.
- Where are you originally from?Eastwood in Nottinghamshire, birthplace of DH Lawrence and the Midland Railway. Lawrence didn't stick around there for long though, and I can't say that I blame him. Pretty grim and devoid of ambition, Eastwood looks more like one of those gritty northern towns in old television dramas. Still, I like to visit occasionally so I can mock the afflicted.
- Do you want to stay there?Being an arch-villain intent on world domination, I see myself in Buckingham Palace. Or Downing Street. Then again, when I am world leader I could just rule from my 3-bedroom semi.
- What is your occupation?Arch-villainy isn't terribly profitable so I write simple video games to pay the bills.
- What have you done so far?I used to write computer games back in the late 80s and early 90s, and had a few published.
- What are your future plans?Nothing much, conquer the world I suppose. Oh, and see more naked ladies.
- Your perfect partnerTwo legs and a pulse would be a good start. After that anything is a bonus. Perhaps slightly younger than myself with a warped sense of humour, an addiction to alcohol and most importantly of all a nice bum.
Stuff I like
- What are you interests/hobbies?When I'm not taking part in a titanic battle between good and evil or tying heroines to railway lines you'll find me making my own beers and wines. I'm also a member of Mensa.
- MusicNot a huge fan of music, but am happy to listen to anything that isn't Country and Western.
- Your fav tv seriesQI, Life on Mars, Coupling, Time Gentlemen Please, Horizon.
- Your fav books/authorsDoes Dr. Seuss count? I don't have the patience for books, and - Green Eggs and Ham aside - have never read one through from start to finish. It's remarkable how erudite I can be given my antipathy to anything in print though. Maybe one day I'll write a book of rude poetry to corrupt the minds of little children, causing the collapse of civilisation itself and thereby enabling me to assume control of the planet.
- What sort of movies do you like?The sort you watch on your own with the sound turned down so the neighbours cannot hear. No, anything that isn't cheesy glossy Hollywood pap really. I hate musicals too. Just give me a Carry-On film and I'm happy.
- Types of people you like?Intelligent people or fellow drinkers.
- What kind of people do you find attractive? Reasonably intelligent ones who are not up their own backsides. They don't have to be members of Mensa, but as long as they're not half-witted troglodytes clad in chav garb or seaweed that's okay with me.
- FoodI can rustle up an omelette or spaghetti bolognese I suppose. But then arch-villains aren't supposed to admit that so let's say I'd have to keep my slave, er, woman, in the kitchen, completely naked save for a tiny pinny and chained to the cooker. Or something. As for restaurants I don't think I've ever been to one. I doubt they let megalomaniacs in.
- DrinksHand me that funnel will you? I take a few nights off a week, but like a bottle or two of wine or a few pints of beer at other times. If you like white wine I could be just what you're looking for, except that I'm such a bounder and a fiend and you'd hate me.
- HolidaysMy parents have a shed at the bottom of their garden though there might not be room for two people in there. You'd have to stay outside in the rain. See, I told you I was a rotter. Other than that I have been on a few city breaks with my friends of late, and that has been fun.
- PetsI don't have a pet, unless you're prepared to wear a collar and eat your meals off the floor? There are plenty of slugs and snails in my back garden though, and the thieving bastards are constantly at my tomatoes.
- Fav thingMy mind. It's a magnificent beast, and not like anyone else's. Ladies' bottoms are nice too.
- Fav PlaceBarcelona.
- What's your favourite radio station ?Radio 2.
- What's your favourite tv station ?I could not pick a favourite.
- What's your favourite drink?Earl Grey tea.
- What's your favourite food?Ooh, kittens and puppies. Fried in a little olive oil and garnished with cute furry animals. At a push I can force down a spaghetti bolognese too.
- What are your favourite activities?I couldn't possibly comment.
My attitude
- Family lifeFamilies? That geezer with the big net in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang had the right idea. He went round catching loose children and locking them up. Anyway, we arch-villains eat babies for breakfast.
- Jobs&WorkingMy job started out as a hobby, but I don't do it just for fun. I do 37 hours a week, and no more. However, I have to get up early in the morning just to practice being horrid to people.
- MoneyI have lots of money, it's all mine, mine, mine and I never give any to charity. So there. What a swine, eh?
- PoliticsJust an aversion to the current inept lot. I'd buy myself a peerage, but think it would be much more fun to steal one. I'm not sure how one might go about that though. Any ideas?
